When it doesn't fit anywhere else
 #146774  by scarletbabydani
 Wed May 20, 2015 4:12 pm
I thought this forum was for heads. There are plenty of good Grateful Dead jokes..I don't know why the jokes section is full of bad, mean spirited basically sucky jokes.
"How many deadheads does it take to screw in a light bulb?" "None deadheads don't screw unless it's in a filthy sleeping bag". Wow- are we hippy haters now? Who is this site for. I only joined to say it's a crying shame. My years touring with the band were the best years of my life. I hate this mean spirited crap. How awful. There are even ones about our departed Keith and Pigpen..some about Jerry's death and one that says they need 2 drummers in case one passes out. Meanies!!!!!!!!!
 #146775  by Searing75
 Wed May 20, 2015 5:03 pm
I've never even been in the jokes section. Didn't know it even existed?
 #146778  by Dwarf Rat
 Wed May 20, 2015 7:33 pm
Deadheads are no joke.

I met the meanest people in line when the Dead played my home town. They threatened me with fists when I crowded the space they were saving for other traveling Heads. I was overcome with sadness that the hippie sharing love I grew up on was replaced with potential violence.

My sweetheart grew up in a mountain town where her experience was Deadheads were skeezy dopers and child molesters. She was wary of my love for the group.

Furthur helped mellow her, and she is looking forward to Levi Stadium.

The Dead attracted both the good and the bad.
 #146779  by hippieguy1954
 Thu May 21, 2015 3:36 am
For the most part, us heads are kind folks. Just like any microcosm, there are going to be lots of exceptions for sure. The cross section of different types of people was always amazing at Dead shows and you could spot trouble makers etc. Dead shows were like little societies with no real rules, so it was quite the experiment as well.
Couple that with the fact that we all act like jackasses once in a while. I certainly admit to that and try to learn when catching myself acting like a jackass. Not always successful, but we should never stop learning from our mistakes.
Us humans haven't evolved enough yet to always be kind. Some have more than others, but still a long, long ways to go. Us humans are still pretty primitive socially. We are still killing each other on huge levels for petty reasons and letting the young and meek perish from starvation and abuse by the hundreds of thousands. So, compared to the big picture, the undesirables that were always at Grateful Dead shows were a small percentage compared to the whole who attended. Still unfortunate, though.
 #146780  by Searing75
 Thu May 21, 2015 4:30 am
I'm about to jump in a pool full of such people at Jubilee! Woooohooo! :cool: :smile: :drink: :D 8)

Most of them are very nice, and on acid. I have not ingested the stuff since '98, but am thinking about it? My girlfriend has never done it, so.......... I prefer the woods though, quiet and only a select few. I don't think I will partake in acid at Jubilee. I will drink (responsibly), smoke and self elate! Self elation!
 #146784  by hippieguy1954
 Thu May 21, 2015 5:54 am
flyingheelhook wrote:If you can't laugh at yourself, you probably should seek professional help... 8)
+1 I keep myself well amused. :lol:
 #146788  by strumminsix
 Thu May 21, 2015 8:01 am
scarletbabydani wrote:I only joined to say it's a crying shame. .... Meanies!!!!!!!!!
^^^ this is the definition of troll.

Seriously, you come in here just to start shit in a criticize?! and call us meanies?! WTF. Project much.

Either light up or leave me alone.
 #146798  by mgbills
 Thu May 21, 2015 3:36 pm
But...where are the jokes?
I've been doing stupid stuff for 51 years. I need a good laugh.

Oh...The natural world will yield a better experience 90% of the time. I liken my experiences to opening the senses all at once. Crowds mean (for me ) susceptibility to the emotions, actions, sounds tastes, smells and trip of everyone around me. Which rather defeats the purpose in my case. The natural world provides a view into the world as it is...apart and together with our human-ness. I like that sort of beauty and introspection.

I bonzed at MSG, Hampton, Sweatolands, Rochester War Memorial, Carrier Dome, Boston Garden, New Haven, Charlottesville, etc. I walked away from the crowds (while in that state) and took a 10 year hiatus. When life dumped me in the Northwest Corner those things came out of the ground every fall & spring. Well ....OK then.

Try Olympic National Park, North Cascades National Park, Hart Mountain National Antelope Refuge...places like that. Muy bueno.

How did I get off on this...Oh Yea...Bring on the jokes.
 #146799  by hippieguy1954
 Thu May 21, 2015 3:41 pm
OK, A horse walks into the bar. Bartender says "why the long face"?
 #146800  by Searing75
 Thu May 21, 2015 5:14 pm
hippieguy1954 wrote:OK, A horse walks into the bar. Bartender says "why the long face"?
My girlfriend ask my dog this question all the time! "Why the long face?" :lol:
 #146801  by mgbills
 Thu May 21, 2015 7:00 pm
I've been telling that horse joke for 15 years. I laugh every time. I think the recipients think I'm weird.

…they may be right.

Ohhh. The nine other jokes I know are inappropriate. :cry:
 #146803  by ebick
 Thu May 21, 2015 9:15 pm
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing.

Heard over a police radio.
Car 19-2: “19-2 to base. Please relay this to the Commander.”
Commander: “Go ahead, 19-2.”
Car 19-2: “We have a serious problem here, sir. A woman has just shot her husband for walking on a freshly mopped floor.”
Commander: “Have you arrested the woman?”
Car 19-2: “No sir. The floor is still wet.”

A woman was arrested for beating he husband with his guitar collection.
"First offender?", the judge asked.
"No", she replied, first his Gibson, then his Fender.

My dad worked on the roadwork's for twenty years before he got fired for stealing!
At first I didn't believe it.... but when I got home all the signs were there.

I hope I live to be 100 if only just to mess with people by telling them fake reasons why I lived so long. Like, "Every day, I eat at least one pine cone.

Image
 #146805  by CountryMile Cadillac
 Fri May 22, 2015 5:24 am
Q:What do you get when you throw a piano down a coal shaft?
A Ab Minor

A man completely wrapped up in saran wrap (plastic wrap) wearing nothing else walks into a shrink's office. The shrink says "Clearly i see you're nuts."

Q.Why wouldn't the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken
 #146808  by TI4-1009
 Fri May 22, 2015 5:39 am
Jokes section? Ahhh- "If you build it they will come."

"What did the Deadhead say when the drugs wore off in the middle of the concert...." oh, sorry- spending too much time over at TGP lately... :lol: