How do you get a drummer off of your porch???
Pay him for the pizza.
What has 3 legs and an asshole on top?
A drum stool.
How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He just holds it and waits for the world to revolve around him.
A place to talk about the music of the Grateful Dead
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www.theCAUSEjams.com
"Once in awhile, you can get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right." - R. Hunter
"If we had any nerve at all, if we had any real balls as a society, or whatever you need, whatever quality you need, real character, we would make an effort to really address the wrongs in this society, righteously." - Jerry Garcia
"Once in awhile, you can get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right." - R. Hunter
"If we had any nerve at all, if we had any real balls as a society, or whatever you need, whatever quality you need, real character, we would make an effort to really address the wrongs in this society, righteously." - Jerry Garcia
What does it mean when there is drool coming out of both sides of a drummers mouth?
It means the drum riser is level!
It means the drum riser is level!
In defense of all those poor whipping-boy drummers out there, here's a couple good ones for you guitar players.
Q: What do a guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A: You know it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it.
Q: How do you get two guitar players to play in perfect unision?
A: Shoot One.
Q: What would a guitarist do if he won a million dollars?
A: Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.
Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None-- they just steal someone else's light.
Alternate Answer: 5-- One to change the bulb and 4 do watch him and say "I can do better than that."
Alternate Answer: Only one-- but he'll go though a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.
Q: In the 22nd Century, how many guitarists will it take to change a light source?
A: 5-- One to do it and 4 to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
Q: How does a Lead Guitarist change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it and the world revolves around him.
Q: What's the difference between a fiddle & a violin?
A: Who cares - neither one's a guitar!
Q: What's the difference between a Lead Guitarist and the PLO?
A: You can negotiate with the PLO.
Q: Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?
A: So the rest of the band can understand them.
Q: What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A: A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.
2 guys were walking down the street. One was destitute.
The other was a guitarist as well
Q: What do a guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A: You know it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it.
Q: How do you get two guitar players to play in perfect unision?
A: Shoot One.
Q: What would a guitarist do if he won a million dollars?
A: Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.
Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None-- they just steal someone else's light.
Alternate Answer: 5-- One to change the bulb and 4 do watch him and say "I can do better than that."
Alternate Answer: Only one-- but he'll go though a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.
Q: In the 22nd Century, how many guitarists will it take to change a light source?
A: 5-- One to do it and 4 to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
Q: How does a Lead Guitarist change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it and the world revolves around him.
Q: What's the difference between a fiddle & a violin?
A: Who cares - neither one's a guitar!
Q: What's the difference between a Lead Guitarist and the PLO?
A: You can negotiate with the PLO.
Q: Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?
A: So the rest of the band can understand them.
Q: What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A: A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.
2 guys were walking down the street. One was destitute.
The other was a guitarist as well
A man walks into a bar and sits down. He notices a foot-tall piano player playing up a storm.
Man: Hey, this guy's really good! Where'd you get him?
Barkeep: Oh, I have a magic lamp that gives me anything I want.
Man: Can I try?
Barkeep: Sure just rub it and say what you want.
Man (rubbing the lamp): I wish for ten thousand bucks.
* Ten thousand ducks appear *
Man: What the hell happened? I asked for 10,000 BUCKS, not DUCKS!
Barkeep: Think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?
Man: Hey, this guy's really good! Where'd you get him?
Barkeep: Oh, I have a magic lamp that gives me anything I want.
Man: Can I try?
Barkeep: Sure just rub it and say what you want.
Man (rubbing the lamp): I wish for ten thousand bucks.
* Ten thousand ducks appear *
Man: What the hell happened? I asked for 10,000 BUCKS, not DUCKS!
Barkeep: Think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?
mttourpro wrote: Q: What would a guitarist do if he won a million dollars?tourpro that is classic. and ironically hilarious because it´s so true.
A: Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.
Goin' home, goin' home
By the waterside I will rest my bones
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul
By the waterside I will rest my bones
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul
